Season 4 of Jersey Shore starts tonight on MTV. They’re headed to Italy for more drama, linguini, ill-advised shots of sambuca and juice-head gorilla antics than you can shake a cannoli at. And keep an eye out for our boy Vinny rockin Kid Dangerous gear all season. And head to our online store if you wanna get some of that gear, or just click on Vinny’s pic. Ciao!
Super pumped. Just wanted to get the word out early so all of you can clear your calendars. Our good friends at The Hudson are gearing up for an epic 10-hour block party on Saturday August 13th. 7 live local bands, 3 DJs, 20 vendor booths (including Kid D!!), and several charities. They’re gonna have 2 full bars to wet your whistle & all kinds of tasty food to make sure you don’t black out too quickly. There’s gonna be live street art & all kinds of other fun shit. They just put up a facebook page 2 days ago & already almost 1000 people RSVP’d. A portion of the proceeds from the event are going to help fund a new library in West Hollywood too. I feel so much better about getting hammered when I know it will lead to helping the kids lerrn how to reed gooder. The Hudson is at: 1114 N. Crescent Heights Blvd, WeHo, CA. Party is getting started at 1pm on Saturday, although I suggest just going to The Hudson on Friday night, passing out in a dumpster the back alley & then just waking up ready to go on Saturday. Click on the flier below & it will take you to the facebook page for more info. Come party with Kid D & the rest of the lushes. There’s really no excuse not to go. In fact, if you don’t go, you’re kind of a dick. –cheech
So, most nights I’m up ‘til around 4AM at Kid D Headquarters cooking the Kid D books so the IRS doesn’t lock us all up. That consists of my laptop, stacks of paper, Tanqueray & sodas & of course hours full of Tivo playing in the background. Now, as the head of programming for the Tivo, I take full responsibility for the amount of nonsense & horseshit shows on the Kid D Tivo. And believe me, I am fully aware of how bad 50% of these shows are. In fact, if someone saw our Tivo line-up, they’d probably say, “damn, these chicks watch a lot of shitty TV”, when, embarrassingly, its just 3 straight guys living at KDHQ (like I said, I take 90% responsibility for the Tivo). But I don’t watch TV just to watch TV, that’s missing half the awesomeness of TV in itself. I watch questionable shows so that I can “hate-watch” them. You know, “hate-watch”, where you are so disgusted that you’re watching a show that you literally can’t stop watching it. Those shows where you say out loud the whole time, “God, I hate these assholes!!” or “Somebody really needs to slap this loud mouth skank!!” Half the fun of watching TV is to talk shit to your screen, even when you are alone. So here are some of the many shows on the tivo along with a few of my comments. TV , good & bad, is my vice. ..one of my many many vices. *(After writing this, I realized how much more TV I watch, so this is gonna only be part 1 of this series)
Jersey Shore – I know these people are totally charactures of themselves, but they all know what they’re doing & if you watch it knowing that, its actually really entertaining. Yes, last season was a step-back with too much attention on Sammie & Ronnie, but since when is it not entertaining to watch a ‘roid head go ape shit & destroy his girl’s closet (something every man has thought about doing at least once in his life). The Situation is a complete douche & ruins the show, but what can you do. I’m excited to see them bring the show back to standards next season in Italy. And if you look closely, you’ll maybe see Vinnie rocking some Kid D shirts on the new season starting August 4.
Subterranean– Remember when MTV played music?? I think this is the only show still left that plays music. And they play really good indie music for 1 hr. I’ll take what I can get. All you gotta do is stay up til 2am on Tuesdays. Simple. That’s what they make tivo for.
Top Chef – They could have this show go on ‘til I’m 85yrs old & I would watch it. I even watched Top Chef: Desserts and I have no idea what chocolate ganache & fondant is. I don’t even eat dessert. I haven’t had dessert since I had two scoops from Baskin Robbins served in a mini baseball helmet in 1986, but I still watch this stuff. I’m even embarrassed to say I watch every Bravo competition show, i.e. Platinum Hit, Top Artist, Best Mustache, American Next Midget Juggler. I’m ashamed.
The Killing – AMC has been killing recently & the hot streak continued with this show. I missed the boat on Mad Men & I figured its too far along to catch up. Its not really my thing. I get it, they smoke & drink at the office & grab their secretaries asses. Sounds like a typical day at the Kid D offices. Hey-oooooo. I’ve got a couple episodes left of the Killing & I heard it ends bad, but I’m gonna stick it out.
Bachelor/Bachelorette – Another shitshow that I’ve embarrassingly seen every season of. They do a great job selling it though. Although, I think the stay together rate of the “winning couple” is about .0465% two weeks after the show ends. And I’m totally buying this season that 25 dudes my age are super stoked to compete for a girl with no self esteem, emotional issues & a forehead that you can watch a drive in movie on. And I know a lot of guys my age that use phrases like “she looked so stunning”, “the date was magical” & “I was so captivated by her.” Please shoot me in the face.
Survivor – Yes, I know it’s only me & 17million senior citizens that still watch this show, but its still fascinating to me. The show, while the same in concept, is different every time. And this last season, the winner played the best I’ve ever seen in the 22 seasons of the show. And yes, I’ve seen them all. FML
Big Brother – Every summer I tell myself that I’m not gonna watch this shit show & as always, I watch the first episode & get hooked for the whole summer. What makes this crap more soul-crushing than the average show, is that instead of just wasting 1hr a week of my life watching idiots babble, this one is on 3 days a week.
Real World/Road Rules Challenge – If you like watching ‘roided out clowns & attention grabbing girls with emotional problems in physical challenges beating each other up , then this is your show.
The First 48/Forensics Files – I think I’ve seen every episode of both of these shows. They’re amazing & honestly at this point, I’m convinced that I could probably get away with murdering someone because they’re basically a “what-not-to-do” guide for killing. If that’s your thing.
Housewives Of New Jersey – Except for Teresa, the annoying chick with the 2 inch forehead hawking a shitty Italian cookbook, this show is great. I refuse to watch any of the other Housewives shows, but I get down with Jersey. For some reason they don’t seem as fake as the others, although I’m sure they are. And I wish that Caroline was my aunt cuz she’s the most normal person that exists on these shows. On another note, I don’t get how any of these women on any of these Housewive’s shows have husbands. I seriously would have taken a leap off a building a long time ago if I was forced to deal with these women. You gotta see the forehead though.
16 & Pregnant/Teen Mom – If this show doesn’t scare every teenager into wearing a condom, nothing will. I’m a big fan of these shows & it does not promote teen pregnancy. If anything, it should scare the shit outta kids having sex. And if nothing else, it continues to show that the South will continue to make the rest of us look bad.
The Real L Word – I need my head examined cuz I actually care for the characters on this reality show. It’s like The Hills with cool lesbians. And awesome sex scenes. Case closed
You know that embarssing feeling of getting rejected while attempting a high-five? Well this 40yr old in the american idol audience sure does. Double embarassing guy!!
Not sure which one of us its gonna be, maybe all of us, but you can bet that Kid D will be doing our best impression of this guy come Friday
Coachella is back. Gonna be my 8th in row. Obsessed. Coachella is like my second Xmas. But with a lot better presents. What the fuck am I supposed to do with slippers Uncle Mervin? I live in California!! Great line-up, but I’m disappointed with the schedulers for all the conflicts in set-times (Strokes fans & Ratatat fans are the same people idiots). And I’m also praying that Bud Light is the beer sponsor this year. 22 Heinekens in a day gets a little heavy, ya know. Nonetheless, there is no place for negativity at Coachella. So, everyone knows the big name bands that are performing, but I actually get more excited for the smaller up & coming bands trying to make more of a name for themselves at Coachella. So here’s a list of some of the smaller ones I’m excited to see. And click on the artist name to watch a video from the artists. I also put their set times on there too. You’re welcome. And a final note to all the posers & 16-yr old girls that are only there to see Kanye & Kings of Leon, if you are in my way, at any point, you will get trampled. Please just save up your allowance money that your rich parents give you & get floor seats for Beiber at the Staples Center instead. P.S. I’ll be there too.
Odd Future – (430 Friday) This is gonna be the first show I see. And probably the rowdiest. Like wear-a-helmet-with-a-chinstrap rowdy. I’ve been up on these kids for awhile now & was hoping this was gonna be the underground show that only me & a couple others know about. Unfortunately, white people found out about them & now I’m guessing the crowd will be a zoo. Nevertheless, I can’t wait. Free Earl.
Sleigh Bells – (730 Friday) I have a feeling this is gonna be a really fun, energetic show too. They sound like what M.I.A.’s last album should have sounded like.
Twin Shadow – (110 Sunday) Kinda mellow, kinda dancey. He’s got kind of an 80s vibe to him. Big fan of his debut album that came out last year.
Plan B – (100 Sunday) This dude is a big deal in England, but no one knows him over here. The guy is really good & his last album is excellent. R&B soul with a little hip-hop sprinkled in. He’s like Mayer Hawthorne mixed with The Streets.
Nosaj Thing – (1045 Friday) He might be too mellow for a big audience, but I love it. He’s like chill/hip-hop instrumental music. Perfect cool down music after wildin out at Crystal Castles & before Chemical Bros.
Cults – (155 Saturday) A boy & a girl from NYC. Kinda got an indie pop sound. They’ve only released 5 songs & their full album’s not even out yet, but I really like everything I’ve heard from them.
Lil B – (640 Saturday) This dude is loco bananas & he can’t rap worth a shit on half his songs, but I’m still way into it. Maybe it’s the beats, maybe its cuz he’s completely delusional. I can’t put my finger on it. He’s the odd man out in the whole line-up, so it’ll be interesting.
Phantogram – (855 Sunday) Been a big fan of them for awhile. Heard they’re great live. And I think they’re a band that’s close to blowing up. The lead singer’s hot too. That doesn’t hurt.
This is just effin amazing. I normally am on Craigslist trolling for dirty $25 hookers, but today I decided to see how much dirty ticket scalpers are hocking Coachella tickets for this year & I came across this winner & his cat Chet. I think everyone needs to get online, find a pic of a sorority girl & email this guy so we can see his responses. On the off chance that you do that, please please post his response here. Here’s the link so we all can respond to this winner: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/tix/2291688696.html
COACHELLA Ticket! In exchange for companion 🙂 – $1 (West Los Angeles)
Date: 2011-03-28, 12:18PM PDT
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I have a 3 day pass to Coachella valued at over $500 dollars. I am willing to give this to a very special girl who is willing to be my “companion” throughout the weekend. I am a completely normal guy who likes to party and is just looking to spend time at a great music festival with the “right” girl. Below is my criteria for the “right” girl. If you fit this profile, have great style, good energy, good grammar, pass a background check, have good hygiene, and like to party…..THEN GET READY FOR THE BEST WEEKEND EVER!
1. Must be between ages of 18 and 22.
2. Must have some affiliation with a sorority.
3. Must tan regularly, or at least have a natural “bronze”.
4. Must be a good travel buddy.
5. Must love “3 doors down” (my fav band).
6. Must love animals (I’m bringing my cat “Chet”)
7. No drugs, no smoking.
8. Must attend every event with me and be dressed in proper attire (bikini and sandals at pool parties; skirt and tube top to night parties.)
9. Must contribute to gas and travel food (beef jerkey, pretzels, etc.)
10. Cuddling at night recommended but not mandatory.
11. Must refer to yourself in 3rd person at all times. (e.g. “Stacy wants to eat”, “Stacy needs sunblock rubbed on her”)
This is a simple but mandatory list of criteria. A small price to pay for a totally awesome weekend with a super chill guy. In addition to three days admission into the festival, the chosen girl will also accompany me to various hot pool parties and evening parties. I also have reservations at Hamburger Mary’s on Saturday for Dinner and dancing as a bonus!
I have a deluxe room at the pet-friendly Caliente Tropics Hotel which according to Hotels.com…”Built in 1964, this tiki-style tropical hotel often hosted celebrities like Elvis and the Rat Pack, and has been recently renovated”, so you know this place rocks!
I am 47/m and will be attending this event for the first time but am totally ready to rock out! I’ve attached a pic!
•Location: West Los Angeles
•it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests